My (toy) suitcase is broken because the Internet is not working.

Why?

(Received a notice in the mail regarding the recall of certain Samsung top-load washers, and so I was checking out the label of the model and serial number of our machine.  Evan came by and inquired about what's going on...)

E: Is the machine broken?
D: No, I'm checking to see if we need to get the machine fixed due to the recall.
E: Why?
D: Because the machine might not be working right.
E: Why?
D: We might need a technician to come out and fix it.
E: Is it broken?
D: No...

E: Mama, I don't like you right now.
M: I don't like you either.
E: Mama, you need to get coffee and get better.
M: (laughs) Are you going to like me better then?
E: Yes

E: What are you doing, Daddy?
D: I'm shaving my beard.  Do you want to shave your beard?
E: No, I'm a little boy, remember?

I'm a super hero.  Super heroes don't wear socks.

Singing: 3 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Mama called the doctor and the doctor said, you gotta go to jail.

E: Daddy can you help me with this?
(Help with unfolding the toy airplane's legs)
M: Can Mama do it for you?
E: No, Daddy is stronger, you're medium size.
(D crouches) Daddy is small size, Mama is bigger.  She can help you!

The fam rings

D: Is Mama a princess?
E: Sometimes
D: Is Daddy a princess?
E: Noooo... Mama's a princess remember when you got married.

D: Evan, daddy need to wash the dishes.  Can you help me wash the dishes?
E: No, thank you.
D: Did you just say "no, thank you"?
E: I'm playing with Rescue Bots.

(D patiently draws Optimus Prime which deem to be too slow for E.)
E: Where's Optimus Prime?
D: Do you want me to keep drawing Optimus Prime? I'm drawing his arm right now!
E: Daddy, I'm not your son... because you're mad at me.
D: Silly, you will always be my son even if I'm mad at you.
E: Can I watch Rescue Bots?

Can we go downstairs?  I need mommy and daddy to come with me.

M: Who is mama's best friend?
E: Evan.
M: Who is Evan's best friend?
E: Adi... I love Adi.

E: Rescue Bots roll to the rescue.  I like Adi.  Daddy, are we going home?
D: Is Adi your Princess Jasmine? Are you getting married?
E: NO!

E: My fingers are stuck
M: Why are they stuck?
E: Because they can't move!

(Waiting at garage entrance)
E: Mama, are you upstairs?  Are you in the other upstairs?
M: I'll be down in a minute.
E: Are you coming? Yes or YES?

E: Can I watch Rescue Robots?
D: No
E: Can I watch Rescue Robots, OKAY?
D: No

(Mama) What's the new baby name?
(Evan) It's baby Jake.
(M) Did you hug the baby?
(E) Adi hugged me.
(M) Did Adi kiss you?
(E) Adi is moymoy [younger sister]

(Mama looking her new passport photo just taken at Costco) I look like an old woman.
(Evan) Mama, you're not a woman, you're a people!
(Daddy) At least he's PC about it.

(Discussing Aladdin getting married to Princess Jasmine in King of Thieves and that they wear special clothes for their wedding) I'm not getting married, I just wear new saam saam (clothes).

(Pointing to his arts and craft starfish) That star has Cheerios on it.  It's a starfish.  Starfish lives in the sea!

Daddy, you're not a baby anymore. You're a big boy. You have beard on your mouth, remember?

This morning the radio was on so I could hear the news while getting ready. The kiddo first wails from room "I wanna go to sleep." But I ignore him, so he comes in from his room and says "Mama can I go to sleep? I'm tired." The radio was too loud for him. It's tough being a kid. #hedoesntsaythatatbedtime 📻

While brushing my teeth last night, he told me he wasn't a baby anymore. He was a big boy.  I told him I knew this, and it made me a little bit sad.  He put his head down on my belly for a moment and said "It's ok mama."  This guy.

He clutched his little blue race car from Disney's Cars (he calls it "blue McQueen") and each time a nerve wracking scene happened, he would try to bite blue McQueen. Then at the inspirational ending of the Piston Cup (spoiler alert), he gave blue McQueen a kiss and said "I love this car."

Later on: He pretended the blue McQueen had crashed and said "Mama, this car is hurt!"

(Playing shadow with flashlight) It's a scary bird. Tweet tweet, tweet tweet.

I want to watch the police chase the bad guys.  (Seeing a Lego ninja on Netflix browse menu) Ooh bad guy... I wanna see that one!